Forgetfulness

Back in the day on Sesame Street, there used to be a character named "Forgetful-Jones"; and anything you'd tell him, he'd immediately forget it. Wouldn't it be something if you could pick and choose specific things in your life to forget? So often we talk about being fond of memories; but there are some things you may have lasting memories of, that weren't necessarily good or other times, a different set of circumstances changes your perception of that memory. The more the days that go by you start to realize that there are so many things about this world, the people in it, and ourselves that is either painful, frustrating, or confusing that we wish we could forget for our own good. That would be too easy, but think about it.

Change the script

I have a few things I feel compelled to work on in my life. First being forgiveness. Usually when I'm done wrong, I close down every possible route that could be used to make it up to me. Honestly, most of the time I do this based on the fact that if you screw up, 9 times out of 10 you knew you were screwing up in progress; so making it up to me would be premeditated. Nevertheless, it's besides the point. I need to learn to let go. Don't get it twisted now, cause ya boi is not a sucka! I'm not saying I'm not gonna cut somebody off if need be. What I'm saying is, if I do, it will be for my own protection, not to constantly reiterate the point that "you f-d up". Also, if you know me, then you are aware of my neverending life issues. lol. I'm at the point right now where there is SOOoooo much that I have no control over, and honestly prayer, pep talks, and temporary forced forgetfulness don't always do the trick. I need another distraction. I'm going to start to be (not only) more attentive to other peoples' issues, but also more genuinely caring of them. At times it can be hard--sometimes people don't understand the depths you go to assist them; other times people beg for advice and never use it (especially women and their emotional distress issues--whooooo! thee absolute worst). Never the less, it's the right thing to do; and you know what? That's one thing I've noticed about myself that I plan to explore more of. I asked myself this question today at work. "Wouldn't if be nice if I didn't do stuff how it was supposed to be done?" I could be lazy. I wouldn't have to help out my co-workers. I wouldn't have to censor my behavior around the lil ones in the fam. I wouldn't have to be a gentlemen, have respect for and desire to be a real man for a real woman. I wouldn't have to place my trust in a God I have never seen. Overall, I wouldn't have to care....about anything. I could just go on with my life without a care or sense of responsibility whatsoever. Sad thing about it is, there are too many people like that hogging all the air in the world right now, just taking up space. Just trying to take maturity one step further by living boldly and not afraid to attempt the tasks that most people are too lazy, sofT, faithless, dumb, and selfish to do. I guess other mfs don't care about their self-perception. How could you wake up in the morning without some type of experiential agenda?