My Life's Soundtrack

There are times when it seems like the world is conspiring against me--kind of like that movie, The Truman Show. Why so many coincidences? Why so many extremes? Why is there always that invisible force that seems to complicate things right before I intend to accomplish a task? True, everyone encounters times like this. However for me, sometimes I just want to ask people, "Who are you working for!?" lol. I'm still very very very blessed. I'm just being sarcastically dramatic. However, I do believe that if my life were a movie, I would have an interesting soundtrack...
Disc A:

1. "Your a mean one" by the Grinch
2. "I won't complain" by Somebody
3. "Champion" by Pastor Troy
4. "Believe" by Lena Horne in The Wiz
5. "The Breaks" by Curtis Blow
6. "Total Praise" by Richard Smallwood
7. "Couldn't be a Better Player" by Lil' Jon and the Eastside Boys
8. "Street Life" by The Crusaders
9. "Girls girls girls" by Jay-Z
10. "Stand" by Donnie McClurkin
11. "Music and me" by The Jackson 5
12. "Super Strut" by Deodata
13. "Today was a good day" by Ice Cube

Disc B:

1. "Lay your body down" by Pretty Willy
2. "It's been a long time coming" by Sam Cooke
3. "You can't win" by Michael Jackson in The Wiz
4. "The Cheers theme" by Somebody
5. "That's what friends are for" by Stevie Wonder/Dionne Warwick
6. "Summertime" by D.J. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
7. "Juice" by The Harris Fam (lol)
8. "It's so hard to say goodbye" by Boyz to Men
9. "I want to linger here" by Waokihi Class at Camp Miniwanca
10. "Miniwanca is our home...forever (will it be)" by Kiwimbee Cha-Moto Class at Camp Miniwanca
11. "So fine" by Mint Condition
12. "Christmas time is here" by Charlie Brown and Peanuts Characters/Vince Guaraldi
13. "My soul is anchored" by Andre Crouch
14. "Parents just don't understand" by D.J. Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince
15. "The Momma Song" by Boyz to Men

Bonus Disc:

1. "Chicago Bulls theme" by Somebody
2. "Say it loud" by James Brown
3. "Beauty" by Dru Hill
4. "Everlasting Bass" by Rodney O and D.J. Joe Cooley
5. "Hit em up" by Tupac Shakur
6. "More than anything" by Lamar Campbell
7. "Poison" by Bell Biv Devoe
8. "Mercy" by Marvin Gaye
9. "Victory" by Puff Daddy/Notorious B.I.G./Busta Rhymes
10. "Cannon (in D minor)" by Pachebel
11. "One sweet day" by Boyz to Men/Mariah Carey
12. "Be" by Common

Entertainment Tonight...yeah right

All these emails, texts, calls, and voicemails pretty say the same thing: "Aye yo E, I'm in town for break. What club we gone hit up?" I can't do it. I don't know if it's my hate of this town, my fatigue from this ridiculous semester, or what; but I can't deal with the club scene anymore. When I'm there, there is this void. It's like I lost a feeling I used to have. I try, but I just can't have fun and enjoy myself anymore. The women there aren't even my type. Honestly I don't ever think I've had a relationship worth mentioning that began while meeting a woman at the club. I'm not saying all women at the club are in the undesirable category of obsessive-compulsive club hoppin' bobblehead groupies. I'm sure it's some real nice, intelligent, and sweet ladies there, but I mean, how much can you actually get to know someone at the club number one? Second, cats like me don't have a chance at pullin' a real woman in the club because they either aren't present or will assume I'm like the other 100 or so thuggish ruggish lames who approached them first. Don't even let me bring up club safety. People have been getting popped left and right at clubs in St. Louis. I could go on a left-tangent on how black on black crime in St. Louis is to a certain extent creating black on black racism in the back of my mind. We not gone go there tonight. Back to what I was saying...fun is always interrupted in this crappy town. My friends respect my decision of avoiding the clubs here. I just don't have fun anymore. Next time I go to a club, I'll be out of town somewhere. I can do happy-hour; I can do the boat (casino); I can even do lots of other things like museums, sport events, plays, dinner parties, and live poetry/music (esp jazz), but most of my friends are so caught up in what everybody else is doing, which is "hittin' up the club"--ugh! Even that short phrase makes me nauseous. Is there anyone left in this town who knows real entertainment anymore??!!

"Prayer"

I owe you a depth of gratitude, for the blessings you see fit to present to me. You are the definition of love, friendship, and faith. I am so blessed to have a best friend who gives me everything I need in life, and never leaves my side for a second. Sometimes I wake up forgetting to acknowledge the gift of a new day that You gave me. Many times I do wrong, knowing exactly what I'm doing, thinking to myself "I know I got something coming, but it won't be that bad". Now I realize that Your unsurpassing mercy is not to be taken for granted, but instead praised. Every single time I zig when I should zag, You let me off the hook; so it leaves me in awe, wondering why do You love me so much? I really don't deserve it. And how can you forgive every man, for every thing, every time, and I find it hard to forgive one person if they say something I don't like? You are my true role model; and although I will never measure up anywhere close to Your greatness, I'm really trying to be more and more like You. Please help me. -Amen