Emotional Drain

Back in high school, I met a girl named "Jam" (her nickname). She was fine as hell; but had a sparky attitude. Yet, she was very caring, and compassionate when it came to me. She was older. From high school up until this past August, we were like the couple that never was. We would always kick-it, check up on each other, and just had super mad love for each other. Problem was, after she left college, she went to the service and got married to some cat. Her marraige didn't work out, and later she popped out a lil' shorty. As a result, she became very vulnerable. Occasionally we would talk about the possibilities of being together; and honestly, the more spontaneous side of me was down. She was most of what I could ask for in a woman, and she deserved to have someone like me take her away from the b.s. that was engulfing her life like quicksand. However, the more conscious side of me kept coming to the conclusion that her circumstances were a little extreme for me to inherit. She even volunteered to pay for my school if I moved in with her. This past August we got into a huge argument that was honestly nothing more than her own vulnerability, mixed with jealousy and loneliness. She had her "array" of words for me. I had mine for her. I told her not to call me again. See, there was so much about Jam that I admired, fell in love with, expressed care for, etc. Yet there were a lot of areas in Jam's life that weren't together, and rather than complain about it, she should have looked straight to the source--herself. I'm not going into depth about her business, but just know that she needed to grow up. I miss her a lot and still love her to death. I could call her; but I'm not. I pray for her and hope she and her shorty are alright. She's just that emotional draining person who half of me would do anything to see, and the other half of me would do anything to avoid. Maybe I wouldn't trip off the "draining" part of her if I didn't love her so much huh????