¿¿¿Love...Ummmm--You Got me on that one (Shrug)???

"As men we were taught to hold it in, that's why we don't know how 'til we're older men"--Common "Love is..." from the album Be

At one point in time, I thought I had unlocked the secret of what love is; later on I had come to find out, I was wrong--either that or love is therefore selfish. I did however, find out that love must be true to work; one cannot "play a part" in the "game" of love, as contradictory as it sounds. You gotta be yourself and you can't force it (love); and if that other person can't accept that for whatever reason, flat-out--it ain't gone work. Personally the closest I can get to defining love is this, "it's the most extreme opposite of hate". I can describe some theoretical characteristics of love, BUT clearly after watching "Love and Basketball" one can clearly distinguish happily-ever-after fantasies from reality. In other words are their some aspects of love that can be generally regarded and accepted as unrealistic? Duh; obviously. My ultimate question is, "Is love therefore selling itself short"????? With these two questions in mind, the first thing I think of is that moment at the alter, "Do you (name) take (name) to be your da-da-da-da-da... in sickness and in health...". Wow right!!!??? Of course nowadays "I do" is always the result; don't seem like it though does it? All it takes is for someone to sneeze a few times and be bedridden for a week before their partner gives up on them and moves on. I'm exaggerating right now but you get the picture. Besides that, look at divorce rates--pathetic. That's marraige though. Bringing it back down to the smaller scale, I already admitted, I am as clueless to love as love is clueless to hate, but the difference between me and most cats is this, I try to minimize my mistakes involving relationships as a result of my ignorance. Everybody has seen "Baby Boy". There's a scene when Jody tells his lady, "Yeah gurl, I love you, but I f*ck other women". Pure B.S.. Personally and honestly, I have never cheated on any women I was with, ever; probably because (duh) it's a contradictory position. I'm a honest and more importantly straight forward type of guy, so I therefore avoid the unnecessary, meaning something doesn't fit in that picture. So many people nowadays (male and female) are in Jody's position and lie to themselves, forcing their own clouded minds to believe that it is possible to love someone and cheat on them simultaneously. In reality people who think like this only love themselves. I stated before that love may be very selfish--maybe too selfish. Think about this scenario: you meet someone, you fall in love with their personality. Overtime sparks fly and that invisible vibe seems to pull you closer and closer at every instance of contact. Being with this person and making this person happy becomes your mission, as their mission is the same for you. One day, this person is involved in a hit-run car accident and is left paralyzed from the waste down. What do you do????? Right. Think about it. Don't say, "It depends..." because theoretically, if you love the person, I mean reeeeeally love the person, you'll continue your "mission". If not, is that not love (absence of love), or the "accepted definition" as far as reality goes? If someone has all the honest and feasible answers to these questions, please let me know (good luck). Before me and Mz. Ryte (whoever she is) hook up, I need to know exactly what I'm getting myself into and why, because this learn-as-you-go stuff...it doesn't work. As for now, I'm makin' progress little by little; I have a lil' bit of a crush. Can me, a grown man--can I still say crush? Aye, it's a start.